“Matt!” I shout across the cafeteria. It’s the morning so he’s the only one who gets to hear my scratchy morning voice. He’s all smiles as he greets me, going straight for the coffee carafes. I stand at the hot water carafe filling up my tea, “Goood Morning!”
“Good Morning!” His voice jumps when he’s excited. “How are you this fine morning?”
“Goood.” I drawl, sticking my chin out along with my words.
“That’s good.” As often happens I find myself following his adam’s apple as it bobs up and down in time with his small laugh.
Matt has a big laugh and a small laugh. The big laugh goes like this: HA! I guess you could call it a bark, but it’s not a bark, it’s just short and to the point, which is what he is – except when he isn’t. The small laugh is entirely in the back of his throat. But it’s not a throaty laugh, no, no, don’t get me wrong. It’s like a chuckle that just won’t chuck.
His voice is nasally, but it sings along with itself, “I just got finished filming last night, so I’m pretty happy this morning.”
My eyes go wide and I practically jump at him. It’s something I do when I’m excited, “Oh reaaally?! That’s exciting.”
“It is!” He bobs his head up and down in the affirmative while he looks for the sugar. I keep it slightly behind me. I don’t mean to prolong the conversation, but sometimes the little girl in me overrides the woman.
Okay, maybe it’s most of the time, not some of the time.
“Oswalt nearly got the better of me, but I showed him!” He says.
I laugh at him as he waves his fist menacingly in the air. I wave mine with him, furrowing my eyebrows, then mock, “Oswalt, you petty animation, do as I say!”
“Not as I do!” He finishes and we both laugh. Me with my loud laugh and him with his small laugh, “Now, where is the sugar?”
I smile sadly, though keep it to myself. If he looked me in the eyes, he might know. Aw shit, he might just know anyway he’s so damn smart.
“OoOh! It’s right behind me.” I sneakily hand it to him
He grabs it from me with shifty eyes, pauses, then softly says, “Sugar hoarder.”
Providing Matt with a perfect, evil MUHAHAHAHA is one of my favorite things to do.
Because it always makes him laugh.
Both his big laugh and his small laugh. “Oh, Andi!”
I don’t just smile, I beam at him, because that’s all I can ask from him and that’s all he knows he can give me and I just don’t give a damn.
Well I do. But I try very hard not to.
Being in love with a married man never occurred to be in my plans. In fact I always figured it would be one of the last things I’d do. But here we are. Me and Him. Him and Me.
And we always just seem to be side by side.
Well, at work anyway.
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