Gerald’s Bad Day: The Evening

Author’s Note: Warning! Here be expletives! Also, this is the third part of Gerald’s Bad Day. You can find the first part here.


The first thing he felt was cold. The ground pressed against his cheek. Fleetingly Gerald’s eyes floated open. He lay sprawled on the floor facing the linoleum. A bed hung above him supported by two beige beams. A grey light flickered overhead.

“Augh,” He managed.

Pulling his trench coat tight to his chest he let himself shiver.

“Shit.” He reiterated.

“Please, do not swear,” a voice spoke through the ether.

Taking his time, Gerald twisted his body just enough to look up at the ceiling. “Who’s there?” He asked his surroundings.

No reply came.

Keeping his trench coat wrapped around his body Gerald pushed his way up to a kneeling position. He stayed there a while, swaying back and forth, and counting his breaths.

“Shit.” He whispered.

“Please, do not swear,” the voice returned.

Again, he turned his head around in search of this polite ghost. He took his time looking around. A small black camera hung from the ceiling. The door stood in front of his face only recognizable by its inlay from the rest of the room. Six little dots sprinkled around the middle of it.

“Why can’t I swear?” He asked.

No reply came.

He sighed and shifted one leg from knee to foot. Then, taking a deep breath, he moved his other leg and made his way to a standing position.

Hunched over and shivering he leaned his head against the door, closed his eyes, and said, “Shit, fuck, goddamn.”

“Please, do not swear. I will not tell you again.” The voice sounded louder with his head against the door. Gerald opened his eyes to see the six dots. A speaker. Of course, someone was speaking to him from somewhere else. Although, he giggled, the voice sounded eerily like the female computer voice synonymous of every science fiction movie ever.

He shrugged, “Fuck.”

The door opened. Gerald fell. He found himself face to face with a pair of green knobby knees.

“Up.” The owner of the knees spoke.

Gerald looked up. The alien looked like a green rhinoceros with blue eyes and blonde hair. Gerald nearly slapped himself to see if he was awake.

“Up.” The rhino spoke again.

Shifting his legs underneath himself, Gerald stood. The rhino’s face met Gerald’s chest it was so short.

“Come with me.” It gargled.

They walked down several long hallways till they reached another door. This one slid open vertically. The rhino pushed Gerald inside ahead of himself. The door closed before the rhino entered.
The room was dark. Snoring could be heard from all around. Gerald took a few tentative steps before bumping into something. He paused. The snoring continued.

His shaking hand found a switch. He didn’t turn it or push it but the lights came on just the same.
The light revealed one rhino sitting at a desk behind a control panel. His giant nose emitted the snores. This rhino was a brunette.

A giant red button sat in front of the rhino. All the other buttons looked like painted plastic buttons.
Gerald dared not move.

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